Jejune Art

I’ve noticed that a lot of the art work on display recently in San Miguel is being described as “whimisical,” which strikes me as a euphemism for “unaccomplished.” That’s right, it’s frighteningly JEJUNE, a word that I’ve always liked and that Webster’s dictionary defines as puerile, dull, and lacking significance. So jejune seems like the perfect word to describe a lot of the art being exhibited right now, art that is dull, uninteresting, and unaccomplished. You might want to call me old fashioned, but I have a strong desire for art that has GRAVITAS, another favorite word of mine, which according to Webster’s means “high seriousness.” Give me gravitas or give me death!  Sure, I can enjoy whimsical art, such as the paintings of Joan Miró or the cut outs of Henri Matisse, which I believe has both whimsy and high seriousness. But whimsy without gravitas is like the Wonder bread of my youth, light, airy, and lacking in substance.

Some Bizarre Art News from the World Outside San Miguel

George Bush’s portraits are positively ghoulish, and I’d say he’s about as accomplished an artist as he was a president. The faces of these bloodless politicos give me the willies. Take that any way you wish. One thing is certain – he’s no Gilbert Stuart, and his “portraits of powerful people” are absolutely lifeless. They make the subjects look frightening – I’d hate to be under the thumb of one of these zombies. Okay, well, I just had to get that out of my system. If Bush goes on dabbling in art maybe a real artist will start dabbling in politics. Horrors!

A retired Fiat factory worker in Italy had two post-impressionist masterpieces hanging on the wall in his kitchen!  Dio mio! Very hard to believe he had no idea of their worth. Imagine he brings them home from a garage sale one day and his wife takes a look and says something like, “Wasting your hard-earned money on trash again, eh? Oofah! What am I going to do with you? You’re so gullible! A born buffone!”  And he replies, rather sheepishly, “But carina, they told me they would be worth something someday!”  Yeah, about 80 million dollars. I can imagine his response when he discovered their true value. “Now I can buy the factory where I used to work!”

Do you like bowls? Do you like old china bowls? I mean really like old china bowls, ones with chickens painted on them? Would you be willing to pay a lot of moola for one? How about $30 million? That’s what they’re going for these days in Beijing. Imagine a billionaire coming home with one.

Husband: Hi, honey, I got you a present. Here it is. I hope you like it.

Wife: A bowl? A tiny little bowl? We already have plenty of bowls, and this one’s not even big enough for soup. (pause) How much did you pay for it?

Husband: Only thirty million dollars . . .

Wife: THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS!!!

The Wife faints dead away and the bowl crashes to the floor.

Husband: Oh, well. It’s only money.